Unveiling the Mysteries: Can We Determine Cheating Up or Down?

When it comes to assessing whether someone has cheated up or down, it's not an easy task. We cannot truly comprehend their vantage point. However, let's delve into the logic behind this concept and attempt to gain a deeper understanding.

The Starting Point: Choosing a Mate

In relationships, we often choose a partner based on the belief that we are getting their maximum potential. This means they possess about eighty percent of the qualities we desire in a mate. This baseline becomes the standard for our expectations.

Women: Expanding the Baseline

For women, finding a mate sets a new baseline. Let's say your first partner had a car. The next partner you choose must meet or exceed that baseline by having a car and something additional, such as a job. The perception here is that women cheat up, constantly seeking to expand their baseline and attract partners who offer more.

Men: Filling the Bucket

For men, the goal is to expand their "bucket" of energy by attracting more partners. This can create the perception that men cheat up. However, there's a twist. When men find a partner who aligns with their maximum potential, they commit, believing they have found everything they desire in one place. From this perspective, men cheat down when they step away from this committed relationship, seeking a partner who presents fewer challenges or headaches.

The Role of Game

Both men and women navigate this complex landscape by employing what we call "game." It involves presenting ourselves as the maximum version of what our potential mate desires, even if we haven't fully reached that potential. By attracting partners based on our minimum, we have room to grow and impress them with our hidden qualities. This way, they appreciate us more as they discover our full potential.

Appreciating in Value

Attracting a mate based on our minimum allows us to appreciate in value. As they initially perceive us as smart, attractive, and well-rounded, they are yet to witness our full potential. When they eventually discover our additional qualities, such as financial stability or domestic skills, their admiration and appreciation grow.

Understanding the Dynamics

Men tend to pick partners based on their maximum confidence level. However, when faced with relationship challenges or overwhelming situations, they may seek partners at a lower level to reduce headaches—cheating down. On the other hand, women establish a baseline and expand their energy bucket, seeking partners who offer more to meet their evolving needs—cheating up. Employing game allows both men and women to present their minimum potential, paving the way for growth and mutual discovery.

Key Points:

1. Cheating up or down refers to the perception of seeking partners who are either above or below one's initial baseline in a relationship.
2. Women often cheat up by expanding their baseline, seeking partners who offer more than their previous relationships.
3. Men cheat down when they step away from committed relationships to find partners who present fewer challenges or headaches.
4. Both men and women employ "game" to attract partners based on their minimum potential, allowing room for growth and impressing them with hidden qualities.
5. Attracting a mate based on one's minimum allows for appreciation in value as additional qualities are revealed over time.
6. Understanding the dynamics of cheating up or down can provide insights into mate selection and relationship dynamics.

Discovering Magnetic Attractions in Relationships

Do you ever wonder what makes a relationship sizzle with electric intensity? This isn't about caviar dreams and champagne kisses—it's about magnetic attractions, the unseen power that binds two hearts together.

The Sexy Truth about Expectations in Relationships

You meet someone who sets your pulse racing, they seem perfect—just like Ken or Barbie straight out of a dreamy playset. But here's a little secret, hotshot—perfection is a mirage. People are perfectly imperfect, and that's what makes us real, that's what fuels the magnetic attractions.

Ladies, if you've found a guy who's less than your Ken but has a future that shines brighter than a diamond, don't hesitate. His ambitions can light up your world if you let them.

Gents, you might want to impress the lady on your arm with a lavish steak dinner and expensive wine on your first date. But remember, the magic isn't in the price tag—it's in the shared laughter, the lingering glances, the magnetic attractions between you.

The Art of Balance in Relationships: Minimum vs. Maximum

Let's talk about balance, my darlings. It's the sexy tightrope walk every couple must master. Start with your minimum, but make it feel like a maximum. It's like a tantalizing striptease, slowly revealing your full potential.

The Truth about Gold Diggers and Players

Picture this—you're at a swanky bar, and you spot someone dressed to the nines, exuding an aura of luxury. Gold digger? Maybe. Or just someone with a vast capacity for love? Men, this is a woman with an ocean-sized bucket needing your love energy to fill it.

And ladies, ever met a man oozing charisma, the life of every party, a true player? He's not a villain; he's simply a man bursting with energy, waiting for the right bucket to pour his love into.

Key Points

1. Discover and foster your magnetic attractions.
2. Manage expectations in relationships—perfection is a myth.
3. Balance your minimum with their perceived maximum for continued growth.
4. "Gold diggers" and "players" are just labels—every person is a universe unto themselves.

Understanding Feminism: More Than a Dictionary Definition

Beyoncé, in her concerts and music, often tries to redefine feminism for her audience, bringing the concept into the mainstream. However, it's essential to delve deeper into the true meaning of feminism and its implications.

Men, Women, and the Energy They Produce

One of the underlying themes of feminism is equality. However, equality doesn't mean exact replication. Women cannot duplicate the specific energy that men produce, nor should they try. Likewise, men cannot replicate the unique energy that women embody. It's about recognizing the inherent value each gender brings to the table, rather than trying to make one fit into the mold of the other.

The Power of Creation: The Real Strength of Women

Feminism often gets misinterpreted as a call for women to shed traditional roles and adopt ones that society has historically reserved for men. However, this overlooks the fact that the power of creation, of bringing life into this world, is a uniquely feminine strength. Instead of downplaying it, we should celebrate this capability.

The Shift We Need: From Patriarchal to Matriarchal Society

Throughout history, we see remnants of the feminine touch in our cultural and societal structures. From art to language, all things considered feminine have survived the passage of time. Perhaps it's time to rethink our societal structures. Instead of a patriarchal society that places men at the top, we should consider shifting towards a matriarchal society, valuing and emphasizing the feminine aspects of creation and nurturing.

Feminism: The Misunderstood Concept

Is not about separation or devaluation, but about recognizing and appreciating the value of women in society. Feminism calls for an understanding that the ability to create life is not worthless but priceless. It's about fostering a society where women's worth is recognized and respected, where they're encouraged to protect and cherish their unique capabilities.

The Numbers Game: Reimagining Equality

At first glance, one might see men as more productive in terms of the ability to procreate, given that a man can father many children in a year while a woman can typically bear only one. However, this perspective fails to take into account the incredible journey of pregnancy and childbirth that women undergo. It’s not about quantity; it’s about the quality and profundity of the experience.

The True Meaning of Feminism: Love, Not Competition

Ultimately, the term "feminist" should not be viewed as a divisive label but as a symbol of love and unity. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie poignantly put it, "Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes". This belief should not pit men and women against each other but should promote mutual respect, understanding, and love.

Remember, always be authentically selfish, and by witnessing your happiness, others can envision the same for themselves. “If you can’t see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points

Feminism:

1. Emphasizes the unique strengths and capabilities of women rather than trying to replicate men's roles.
2. Calls for a societal shift towards valuing and emphasizing the feminine aspects of creation and nurturing.
3. Should promote love and unity, not competition, among genders.

An Unusual Wordplay: Unraveling 'Cumpromise'

Get your mind out of the gutter - this isn't about what you might be thinking! 'Cumpromise' is an interesting blend of the Latin word 'cum', which means 'and' or 'with', and the English word 'promise'. Just as 'cum' in Latin brings together two nouns, 'cumpromise' serves two purposes: it encapsulates the two perspectives within a relationship, and represents the concept of mutual agreement.

His and Her Perspectives: A Tale of the 'Popular Junkie' and the 'Homebody'

You might see yourself as a 'Popular Junkie', someone who thrives in social situations, basking in the energy of a crowd without necessarily needing to be the center of attention. On the other hand, your partner might be a 'homebody', who finds comfort in the warmth of family, friends, and familiar surroundings. Initially, this contrast might not be evident or troublesome, as you find common ground in shared environments, such as a lively home full of roommates or small gatherings with mutual friends. The shift from 'lost' to 'lust' to 'love' in the relationship brings you two closer, and you find joy in the constant companionship. But, the harmony starts to fade as the relationship transitions into a more committed phase.

Unveiling the Rules: The Evolution of Relationship Dynamics

The problem arises when the 'love phase' introduces new 'rules', particularly from your partner who prefers the comfort of home over the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your once-adventurous outings dwindle to rare occurrences, and when you do get the chance to go out, you find yourself soaking up every moment, unsure of when the next opportunity will arise.

So, where did it all go wrong? Did anyone misrepresent themselves throughout the phases of the relationship? Not necessarily. The issue lies in differing perceptions and expectations.

Finding Balance: The Path to 'Cumpromise'

In the initial phase of the relationship, when you spent time at your partner's home, you enjoyed the social aspects, while she cherished the homey vibes. She viewed you as a reformed social butterfly, content with quieter surroundings, while you saw the socializing as an extension of your outgoing persona. As the relationship evolved, these contrasting perspectives created friction.

But, there's hope. There's nothing inherently wrong with either of you or your preferences. The key to resolving this issue lies in the art of 'cumpromise'. It's about balancing your time, understanding each other's needs, and setting realistic expectations for the relationship. The goal isn't to suppress one's needs for the other, but to find a mutual ground that satisfies both.

Remember, you can only see things from your perspective, but through communication, you can understand your partner's view and work together towards a solution.

"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. 'Cumpromise' emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding and agreement in a relationship.
2. Differences in social preferences can create tension in a relationship if not addressed properly.
3. Open communication and compromise can help maintain balance in a relationship, ensuring both partners' needs are met.

 

The Myth of Lying: Perception and Miscommunication in Relationships

"Women are liars", or so many men perceive it. Now, don't be quick to jump into conclusions - let's clarify what this means. The claim isn't about women being intentionally deceitful, but more about the hidden rules that unfold as a relationship progresses.

The Illusion of No Rules: The Early Stages of Dating

In the dating phase, the only apparent rule seems to be spending time together. Time filled with laughter, discussions, activities, and the electric spark of budding affection. Late-night visits, dinner and movie dates, or cozy movie nights at home - they all culminate in an exchange of emotions. As the bond deepens, the lust-filled days start evolving into the comforting embrace of love.

The Emergence of Hidden Rules: The Progression into a Relationship

But, what if I told you there were rules all along, rules you didn't realize existed until they were broken? These unspoken expectations subtly govern the course of the relationship. Yet, they are often overlooked in the early phases when labels are hazy, and things are casual.

Upon becoming 'official', new rules are introduced, such as increased quality time, more public outings, and interactions with each other's families. It seems like a natural progression of the relationship, doesn't it? Still, even in this phase, you feel you maintain a sense of personal freedom - hanging out with friends, and occasionally going out together after work. But as the relationship progresses, even more, expectations start to emerge.

Unleashing the Kraken: The Shift after Marriage

When you think of the shift in a woman's behavior after getting engaged, you might attribute it to wedding planning stress. However, it's more than that. The 'Bridezilla' phase often uncovers long-held expectations that have been subtly imprinted since childhood. After the wedding, the so-called 'honeymoon phase' ends and the reality of living together brings forth more rules that have been visualized and practiced for years.

Unmasking the Fear of Commitment: The Hidden Factor

This progression, which often feels like an unraveling of hidden rules, is why many men fear commitment. However, once a man falls in love, he is willing to endure the challenges because the emotional bond holds him. If a man refrains from committing, it might be because he hasn't allowed himself to fall in love, to let you 'load the gun', so to speak.

Navigating the Waters of Unspoken Rules: The Solution

Here's a solution to circumvent this: Be upfront with your rules. If your partner infringes upon them, don't suppress your reaction; communicate your feelings. If you share your expectations, and your partner chooses to stay, then the responsibility lies with them. On the other hand, if you don't disclose your rules, and they feel blindsided later on, it's you who is at fault.

Don't rely on the assumption of 'common sense' because if it were common, it should have been apparent during the dating phase. Take solace in knowing that the right partner for you will respect and meet your expectations from the start, not because they feel 'tamed', but because they genuinely align with your needs.

Remember, in the end, all we want is to find happiness and fulfillment.

"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points

1. Relationships often entail unspoken rules that come to light as the bond progresses.
2. The perception of deceit in relationships often stems from undisclosed expectations or rules.
3. Open and honest communication about expectations and boundaries can help build stronger, more successful relationships.

 

Understanding Love: Individualistic and Ineffable

Love is a profoundly personal experience. "I can't love you how you would love you. I can only love you how I love you." Just like the thumbprint, each love is distinct and can't be replicated. Love, just like friendship, thrives when individuals find a common ground yet maintain their distinctiveness. But it's important to remember that things won't get done when you want them done; they will get done when they get done. Let's draw a parallel between the nuances of building a relationship and the construction of a home...

Choosing Your Builder: The Inception of a Relationship

Women, you have the privilege of choosing your builder - the one who will materialize your dream home, your future life. The choices are ample, but after careful consideration, you pick one. As the conversation sparks, you share your vision of the perfect home - how it looks, feels, and the vibe it resonates. Remember, you're not just planning a house but crafting a blueprint for your future life.

Surveying the land is crucial - Is it the right community? Are the neighbors amicable? All these considerations play a significant role in determining if this is where you want to lay the foundation of your future. Jim Rohn aptly said, "You can't build a house unless you already see it finished first." It's a perfect parallel for relationships - envisage the end, and then start working towards it.

Constructing Your Dream Home: Nurturing a Relationship

Now, the labor of love begins. As your chosen builder, I strive to transform your visualized dream into reality. But keep in mind - every construction is unique, much like every relationship. Although societal norms might dictate a timeline, love doesn't abide by it. Forcing stages before their due time can lead to an unstable structure. The same applies to relationships.

Allow the builder - your partner - to work at their pace, without pressuring them based on external influences. Your dream home, like your relationship, needs to be built meticulously, ensuring a strong, lasting foundation. Remember, dreams do materialize, but one can't pin an exact date and time to them. Just keep dreaming, and slowly, but surely, it will unfold into your reality.

The Fine Line Between Friendship and Relationship: A Matter of Actions

A friendship where two people relate is, in essence, a relationship. You can label it a friendship all day long, but if time and effort are invested in understanding and relating to each other, it is a relationship. Actions, indeed, speak louder than words.

As always, remember to be unapologetically selfish, radiating your happiness. It can inspire others to pursue their happiness too.

After all, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. Love and relationships are highly personal experiences, much like building a house.
2. Applying unnecessary pressure based on societal norms or expectations can disrupt the natural progression of a relationship.
3. Friendship where two individuals relate is a relationship in its essence.

The Intriguing Intersection of Love and Sales: Meeting at the Dealership

Let's take a spin into the world of car sales – an unexpected yet potent metaphor for the dating game. You pull up to the dealership, your eyes scanning the shiny parade of potential new rides. Here, the salesman doesn't need to sell you a car. You're already in the market. His task? Simply to match your desires with an option at a price the dealership approves. Now, let's cruise this concept into the dating realm...

Striking the Perfect Deal: Selling Attention for Affection

If someone finds your exterior appealing, they're likely to approach you. It's the law of attraction. Now, all you need to do is to strike a balance between what they want and what you can offer. Take, for instance, the age-old trade-off in dating: a man gives a woman attention; in return, she offers intimacy. But there's a catch – more often than not, the exchange ends there. It's a hasty transaction, skipping the potential for depth.

But consider this: what if he approached her offering time and attention? This time, she's winning. There had to be a reason he approached in the first place. Through a series of chats, he reveals his true desire: a relationship. As this dance continues, his emotional investment grows. When he's truly hooked, that's when she can sell him a relationship on her terms. Sound familiar? It mirrors the protracted process of buying a car.

Unmasking the Alpha Male: The Power of Confidence and Attention to Detail

Society often equates physical fitness with 'Alpha' status. But what if one doesn't fit the societal mould of a chiseled Greek god? Enter the world of the charismatic, confident, 'business developer' types. These are the ones who, despite not being gym buffs, exude confidence and an exceptional eye for detail. They've nailed the packaging, understand the walk, and have mastered the talk.

This breed of 'business developers' have a unique challenge. They must seek out clients (potential partners) and prove their worth. In social situations, they face numerous tests to their 'Alpha' status. And believe me, being an Alpha is all about readiness and resilience, something I'll delve deeper into in my upcoming GentleMANliness series.

The Intriguing Dance of Sales and Seduction: Why Business Developers Shine

The 'business developer' approach to dating might seem more demanding than the casual 'car salesman' method. However, business developers suggest better ways to invest your 'mental cash', such as time, on things that appreciate over time, rather than instant gratification that often depreciates.

Let's be clear, this post isn't to disregard the fit and fabulous. Instead, it's a rallying cry for those who may not fit the conventional attractiveness mould to understand their unique value in the relationship market. It's time to ponder: Who truly reaps more rewards, whether in mental or physical 'cash'?

Stay tuned, as we dive deeper into the nuances of GentleMANliness.

As always, remember to be unabashedly selfish and radiate your happiness. It's infectious. After all, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. The dating game is comparable to a sales scenario, with each party offering something the other wants.
2. Confidence, detail-oriented, and charisma are attractive attributes that can compete with physical fitness.
3. Mental 'cash' like time, attention, and emotional investment often yield greater returns in relationships.

The Alluring Dance of Love: The True Lover's Tango

Welcome to the world of love, a mysterious place where we often trade authenticity for approval. It's the arena where our dashing representative – that slick, suave version of ourselves – steps forward, ready to engage in a passionate tango. This deceptive dance is what I call the Seductive Chameleon Effect.

When we start dating, we're authentic – we're real. Then, as we begin to fall for someone, we instinctively start mirroring them. It's the highest form of flattery, or so we've been led to believe. Consider the Casanova who turns into a gentle romantic because he's found 'The One'. Love is his kryptonite, his transformation catalyst. He feels the need to convince his lady that his philandering days are behind him. Why? Because he realizes the damage he's done, the hearts he's toyed with – but trust me, darling, I'm digressing.

Here's what happens next. You begin to mold your world to her liking, even sacrificing your pleasures for hers. Picture this: You're a culinary maestro who loves whipping up hearty Spaghetti Alfredo, eating it right out of the bowl. But when she's around, you become a gourmet chef, serving the same dish in exquisite Nora Fleming dishes. That's the Seductive Chameleon Effect in action.

Unveiling Your True Colors: The Reality Behind the Masquerade

This chameleon dance continues until you're comfortable enough in the relationship to be yourself again. Suddenly, she's exposed to the real you – the guy who enjoys spaghetti on the couch while binging College Football all Saturday in his favorite (slightly worn-out) boxer briefs. This is where the confusion sets in; she never knew this was the real you.

In love, our auto-pilot often takes the wheel, leading us to make changes we aren't conscious of. Like me, you might find yourself trying to persuade your partner that you've left behind some old habits or principles. Here's the catch: love's compelling tug-of-war keeps you grounded, despite your instincts urging you to flee. And the most exciting part? She's performing the same dance too!

Dancing to Your Own Rhythm: Overcoming the Seductive Chameleon Effect

The antidote to the Seductive Chameleon Effect? Simple. Embrace your selfishness. Pursue your passions. Love in your unique way. Be present, not a puppet controlled by auto-pilot. We're all shape-shifters, constantly evolving with every tick of the clock.

Adopt the "Love Me or Leave Me" philosophy – a straightforward, yet powerful mantra that encourages acceptance of yourself and your partner, just as you both are. Don't settle for less, whether it's a mediocre pair of shoes or a lackluster Spaghetti Alfredo presentation. But keep in mind, the 80/20 rule before you make a run for the exit.

To truly ignite our relationships, we must bypass the Seductive Chameleon Effect and prioritize our happiness. Anything less leads to an inevitable downward spiral.

So, dare to be selfish and remember, your happiness is your greatest seduction. As always, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point.”

Key Points

1. The Seductive Chameleon Effect refers to how we change ourselves to please our partners in the early stages of a relationship.
2. To stay authentic in love, adopt the "Love Me or Leave Me" philosophy.
3. Prioritizing personal happiness can help maintain genuine relationships.

Becoming the Smile Generator

So, you've graduated from the basics of Modern Chivalry Level 1, and you're already bringing a new energy to every room you walk into. People are drawn to you, women can't resist your charm, and men want to be you. But the game's not over. Let's dive into the nuances of Modern Chivalry Level 2.

Trust in Your Momentum

Level 2 is all about understanding confidence. It's not a magic potion you chug down, it's a muscle you've been training. You've begun to trust yourself, and the momentum is building. That momentum is an infectious positivity, an energy that you're spreading with every laugh and smile.

Making a Game of Smiles

How about we play a game? It's called the 'Smile Game'. Set a daily goal for the smiles you're aiming to inspire. On Day 1, you aim for one smile. On Day 2, it's two smiles. Keep it rolling, and if you ever miss a day, no worries, just add those smiles to the next day's target. And here's the trick - the first smile of the day is always your own.

Mastering the Beast

The ultimate goal of Level 2 is controlling the beast within - your emotions. Whether it's food, alcohol, sex, money, or video games, if you let these desires control you, they turn into beasts. But if you control them, they can serve you. Power comes from restoring balance where there was chaos.

Modern Chivalry Level 2 Rules

1. Stand Tall, Stand Confident: You've already worked on this. Keep building that momentum.
2. Find Your Smile Trigger: Understand what brings a smile to your face. Hold on to that. Use it when times get tough.
3. Track the Happiness around You: Notice when people smile. Use this power wisely - for creating happiness, not spreading negativity.
4. Go the Extra Mile: Develop the habit of doing more for others. It may seem selfless, but the joy you spread will return to you tenfold.

Key Points:

• Trust in your growing confidence.
• Play the 'Smile Game'.
• Learn to control your emotions.
• Use your power to spread positivity.

The Once and Future Gentleman

Have you ever daydreamed about the kind of old-school charm that'd make dames swoon and gents nod in approval? Buckle up, playboys, we're taking a wild ride back to the future. We're talking about Modern Chivalry, where charisma meets courtesy, and irresistible charm is the new cool.

Welcome to the Techno-Jungle

Ever considered how tech might be sabotaging your love game? Back in the day, chivalry was our ace, our secret sauce. Then, out of nowhere, doors started opening themselves, TV screens started blurting out curse words, and smart phones put provocative content right in our hands. Just like that, the art of Modern Chivalry started fading, and so did the allure of the irresistible gentleman. But fret not, we've got the roadmap to get you back in the game.

Level Up Your S.W.A.G

Ready to revive your inner gallant knight? Let's dive into our four-level Modern Chivalry boot camp:

1. Confidence is Key:

Stop playing the comparison game. You’re the only you in this universe. Embrace your uniqueness, flaws, and all. If you're not loving yourself, why should anyone else?

2. A Positive Vibe Attracts the Tribe:

Flash a smile, crack a joke, and be the sunshine everyone craves. Trust me, laughter is an aphrodisiac.

3. Choose Your Words Wisely:

Ditch the curse words, unless it’s a dire situation. Be different, stand out. And when a gentleman speaks, everyone listens.

4. Respect Women - All Women

Open doors, let her in first, help her to the table. Don't just do it for the applause, do it because it’s the right thing to do. That, my friend, is Modern Chivalry.

Key Points:

• Technology is sabotaging traditional chivalry.
• Confidence, positivity, respectful language, and treating women with respect are integral to Modern Chivalry.

Here's a Sexy, Swept-up Story from the Hot Seat of a Barbershop!

Ah, the barbershop - a carnival of conversations, an Olympic arena of fiery debates, where a guy can be a 'Guy.' Each visit is a ride through a labyrinth of chatter, some sensible, some random. But today, my dear readers, the conversation took an exciting detour into my lane. Buckle up!

Enter The "Cool Guy"

You know the guy - always trying to ruffle feathers with his tales of conquest. So, in walks Mr. "I've-Got-It-All," attempting to assert his coolness. Not on my watch, bud. Here's the juicy bit:

Johnny Everready: "So, my side-piece asked me, 'Is this just about the fun in bed?' I said, 'No way, I like you.' What would you guys say?"

Cue the laughter, the applause, the cheerleading. But I, the relationship whisperer, decided to shake things up a bit:

Swagger Coxch: "ABSOLUTELY! But darling, you do that little thing that drives me wild!" Of course, that was a slick lie. I added, "Isn't she supposed to be your side-piece?"

For the uninitiated, a "side-piece" or "jump-off" is someone you call for some no-strings-attached action. But apparently, not everyone got that memo.

"Why Not Be Honest, Johnny?"

Our man, Johnny, wasn't keen on being forthright. He feared losing the "benefits" of his side-piece arrangement. To that, I say, "Confidence issue?" Nope, says Johnny, he couldn't care less.

But when I probed, Johnny tried to deflect:

Johnny Everready: "Have you dealt with many women? Are you married?"

And I, ever the gentleman, put him back in his place, "Not up for discussion, champ. You're the one trying to play Kanye here."

The Real Deal

What unfolded next was Johnny admitting his five-year "affair" while being married. My stance was clear: "You're playing a single man's game while married, bro. You're basically married to two women now."

Johnny thought he found a way out, claiming he did things with his side-piece he couldn't do with his wife.

Swagger Coxch: "Then, you chose wrong, Johnny. You've suppressed your desires or lied to your wife from the beginning. You should have found someone who's into the same stuff as you. You wouldn't have to cheat then."

To cut a long story short, Johnny confessed to being greedy, to wanting his wife and his side-piece. I left him with this thought, "If you haven't shared enough emotions with your wife, or before you married your wife, that might be the problem. You're dealing with two packages, each with its own set of headaches."

What's the Verdict, Folks?

This barbershop tale of love, lust, and misplaced affections left me wondering. But what do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

And remember, always be fuching selfish, because your happiness can inspire others.

"If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points:

• The Barbershop: A Male Bonding Space
• The Tale of Johnny Everready: A Married Man’s Adventures
• Swagger Coach vs Johnny: A Battle of Perspectives

"Hey there, beautiful people! Have you ever heard people brag about how they're the luckiest ones around? That's exactly what the king of hip-hop, Jay-Z, confessed during his Fade to Black concert movie. That night, he felt he had the world in his hand – all stars aligned, just waiting for him to pluck one. Sounds enchanting, doesn't it?

Love, Luck, and a Dash of Passion

Back in the good ol' days, getting 'lucky' meant more than a casual fling; it was about finding love. And when you find love, my dears, luck seems to follow you like a smitten puppy.

Have you ever felt that strange energy – a vibrant hum that fills you when you're truly, deeply passionate about something? Jay-Z's passion for rap made him ready for that perfect night he dreamt of. His intense love for his craft stirred the universe, drawing luck towards him.

Channeling Your Inner Doctor (or Whatever Your Passion May Be)

Now, remember your childhood fantasies? Pretending to be a doctor, a pilot, or a princess, perhaps? You loved the idea so intensely that it was almost as if the universe couldn’t resist aligning everything to make it happen. Your teacher got sick before the exam, you snagged a 'B' on that party-inspired paper (confession time: it had your mom's secret pie recipe hidden in it).

If you didn’t pay attention to these small miracles, you may not have realized how lucky you've been all along. Consider the delightful synchronicity that has led you to where you stand now!

Turn up the Love Frequency

Find your love. Embrace it. Let it bubble up inside you until it forms a passion so intense, it vibrates through your being. Then, take a step back and watch in awe as your own unique dance of love and luck unfolds, guiding the stars to align just for you.

And remember, my lovely ones, be gloriously selfish. Your radiant happiness will become a beacon for others to follow. Because, "if you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points:

1. Love and luck are intimately connected.
2. Your passion acts as a beacon, attracting luck.
3. Recognizing the little miracles in life helps you realize your own luck.
4. Embrace your passions and watch as the stars align.

 

The Paradox of Yearning: Never Enough

In the world of romance, it seems like we're trapped in a constant cycle, a relentless quest for 'more.' We give our hearts, our souls, yet we always fear it's not enough. But what if I told you that what feels like 'nothing' might be the key to 'everything'?

Embracing the Void: From Nothing to Everything

We often view 'nothing' with fear - an empty space where love should be. But could 'nothing' instead be a sacred space, a place where love can grow in its purest form? When we stop trying to fill every moment with gestures and words, we create room for the magic of unspoken understanding, for love that is so profound, so deep, it doesn't need to be declared to be felt.

The Transformation: When Nothing Becomes Everything

Herein lies the magic: when we cease our relentless pursuit of 'more', we allow 'nothing' to blossom into 'everything'. This might seem paradoxical, but it's a truth deeply rooted in human connection. When we let go of our need for affirmation and start to appreciate the beauty of silent understanding, we discover that what seemed like 'nothing' is indeed 'everything'.

The Art of Letting Go: Making Space for Everything

So, how do we achieve this transformation? By embracing the art of letting go. When we release our preconceived notions of what love 'should' look like, we make space for what it 'could' be. In this state of openness and acceptance, we find that we are indeed enough, and our love story transforms from a quest for more into a celebration of everything we already have.

Conclusion: The Enigma Unraveled

"It's never enough. Until it's nothing, and then it's everything." -Swagger Coxch

It's a reminder to us all - let's stop chasing 'enough' and start embracing the 'nothing'. Only then can we unlock the door to 'everything'.

Key Points:

1. Understand the paradox of love and 'enough'.
2. Recognize the potential hidden in 'nothing'.
3. Learn to transform 'nothing' into 'everything'.
4. Practice the art of letting go.
5. Embrace your love as it is, right now.

A Lovers' Quest: Searching for Enough

Listen closely, because I know why you're here, yearning for answers. You've been dancing around this question: why aren't you good enough? You're craving more, wanting to uncover the secret to becoming enough, to becoming irresistible. You're eager to satisfy his needs, yet you're left thirsty for your own desires. But darling, what do both of you truly crave?

The answer? "Old School Love". And here’s how to capture it.

A Golden Flashback: The Roots of Love

Cast your mind back to childhood – we're frolicking on the playground, and I'm engrossed in a game of football or maybe basketball with the boys. You're there, ostensibly with your friends, but your gaze is on me. Unknown to you, my eyes are stealing glances back.

You’re amidst the radiant sun, a field dotted with dandelions ready to be blown into the wind, and honeysuckle's sweet scent wafts on the breeze. You scoff at us boys sucking the nectar from the honeysuckle, but when I coax you into trying it, you discover its hidden sweetness. That's the birth of trust. I dash off to rejoin the game, leaving you behind with a sweet memory. That’s “Old School Love”, the flavor of trust, of sweet moments and the creation of a bond that time cannot erase.

The Key to His Heart: Bring on the Fun!

Gentlemen, we are eternally children at heart, craving fun and camaraderie. When we meet our "Great White Buffalo", our match in wit and joy, we can't help but commit. A perfect balance forms when you effortlessly blend into our social circle, earning their respect, their laughter, and their admiration. Suddenly, his friends become yours, and vice versa.

Become the source of positivity, and people will flock to your energy. It’s simple, really: men seek fun. And when you match his friends in joy and carefreeness, he’ll have no option but to commit.

The Secret to Lasting Love: Involve Yourself

Stay atop the fun hierarchy by involving yourself in his world. Pretend, if you must. Over time, you'll come to enjoy his passions, further strengthening your bond. Remember, we men are creatures of emotion. These feelings can shift, but when you integrate into our interests, you ensure your position in our lives. Look at the bigger picture of our actions and understand our peculiar habits. We're like electrons in a chaotic dance - decipher our patterns, and you'll find meaning.

The Power of Re-creation: Old School Love

Recreate that old school love every day. You see, darling, we may not vocalize our commitment, but our actions speak volumes. You need to listen, to understand our non-verbal cues.

Mirror us, as we mirror you. When you inject fun into our lives, we reciprocate by stepping up. Together, let's keep the flame of old school love burning.

Old School Love: The Lyrics that Capture it All

Lupe Fiasco said it best:

"Give me that old school love right now I'm leaving it all up to you darling, giving you everything you want And give me that old school love right now You know when I hold you, you won't be alone..."

Key Points

1. Seek out the foundations of “Old School Love”.
2. Understand the importance of fun in your relationship.
3. Involve yourself in his interests.
4. Listen to non-verbal cues.
5. Rekindle the flame of old school love every day.

What is love?

What is addiction?

Love is never getting enough of what you do want, some say.

Addiction is never getting enough of what you don't want, some say that too.

I would like to offer another answer to this question that even science can't answer. I would like to start with another movie quote from Interstellar, which gave causeway for so many thoughts.

Love isn't something we invented. It's observable, powerful, it has to mean something... Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.

Again what is love?

As evidenced by the italics in the quote the pieces that I thought needed further consideration and lead to my thoughts on the subject matter.

I explain love as premium energy.

Let's take that a step further.

In my posts on energy, I explained that men have nozzles and women have buckets.

This concept I reintroduce by saying men operate off a feeling and women operate via emotions or groups of feelings.

Love, I also stated was the greatest invention. This is because it can't be explained, touched, or even seen. All that may be true but love you can experience.

You don't understand, I'll explain it in lamens terms

Love, I will now explain in a different context.

Love is a feeling so positive that it can't come from within. Because we generate these supercharged feelings and emotions and can't explain them we attach them to things outside of ourselves.

We have become so detached from ourselves that we believe this great feeling is external.

Think of it this way; if you woke up early in the morning to see the sunrise and it gave you this supercharged feeling, you would attach that feeling to the sun, not yourself.

In turn, you would wake up every morning to get that feeling.

See where I AM going with this.

Are you talking about energy again

In other words, action or presence of someone generated this supercharged feeling you would attach love to this person.

Since you crave this feeling you conclude that you must love that person.

If this person is consistently around when you vibrate at that frequency you determine you are in the momentum of love or in love.

If you generate a feeling that you dislike it must mean you hate that person.

But in actuality, you attached your dis-ease to that person. Addiction works the same way.

You never get over the drug because you have attached the good vibration to the drug instead of addressing the feelings or emotions within you.

Go deeper please we get our energy now

Everything has a two-party system, good and evil, god and the Devil, Democrat, and Republican, masculine and feminine, they aren't different, they are the same viewed from a different vantage point.

Love is hate, positive is negative, and repel can propel, there is no exception to the rule, it's how the system works.

The key takeaway is this: the feelings or emotions that we crave are within US not out there.

We can't explain love, and we can't communicate love because love is internal.

The idea that its external is propaganda

Addiction makes you look to someone or something else as your source of happiness or sadness.

It lets you off the hook.

It releases the tension in your mind because you get to play the blame game, instead of addressing yourself.

These supercharged feelings or emotions let you know when you are on the path of ease.

I AM starting to think everything is about self-discovery.

"Our cells" sound an awful lot like "ourselves"...

When we begin to think about what we think about we start to figure these things out.

When we tip the scales in the favor of love within ourselves we will find more things that generate supercharged feelings and emotions.

Feelings and emotions are our internal GPS.

The moment we attach our beacons to someone else we can easily be led down the wrong path...

Be selfish and fix your damn GPS and I AM willing to bet you will come to a dead stop when it hits you.

I make me ...

If we're going to play the game fair then everything that is in your presence when you experience these super-charged feelings and emotions should get attached to it, which ultimately means you love everything!

Where did we come from?

Did we love ourselves so much that we wanted to keep reproducing the feeling that we already generated, as though we could never get enough of it?

Did we come from another galaxy or alternate possibility?

Who created ourselves in this galaxy because we love ourselves that much?

In these movies I have been watching lately time is the binding agent to the Universe.

If we break uni meaning one and verse being sound, then we all vibrate to the same sound.

I AM willing to bet that sound is love and this has been the case throughout time...