"Casual Sex? No More Real Than Unicorns!" - A Swagger Coxch's Insight

Folks, let's put on our love goggles and dive into the deep end of the pool. We're unraveling a modern myth today – the enigma of casual sex. I swear, it's a concept spun by the same minds that gave us trans fat. Does anyone truly know what that is?

It’s Like Asking for Fries with That Shake, No?

In an ideal world, I'd channel my inner Stallone, saunter up to a lady, and croon, “Hey, how 'bout some hanky panky?” Surprisingly, she might just agree! But that's as rare as finding a golden ticket in your chocolate bar.

Alpha Males Unite: It’s Not a Numbers Game!

Once upon a time, alpha males reveled in their playing-the-field prowess. Now? Not so much. Men have gone soft, my friends. So soft, women feel compelled to step up and take charge. Where's the fire, gentlemen?

Rising Female Frustration: Forced to Wear the Pants

Ladies have grown weary of the neutered men around them. In their exasperation, they've tried to coax some life out of these men. But the days of waiting around for the prince to make his move are long gone. Men, wake up, grab the reins, and go get what you want.

Casual Sex: An Oxymoron

Now, let's dig into this 'casual sex' deal. Really, it's like ordering a flavorless sundae. We want the hot fudge, the sprinkles, and the cherry on top, not just the cold slab of ice cream. Sex needs sizzle, people!

The Psychology of ‘No Strings Attached’

So, casual sex, the supposedly ‘no strings attached’ kind. That’s a laugh! Do you walk up to a random person and declare your intent for a one-night stand? No. You make a choice. You pick the one you're attracted to. You decide to settle for what you think is the best you can get, hoping that your prowess in the sack will have them begging for more. But if it was genuinely no strings attached, why not just leave a note?

Is Casual Really What You Want?

Here’s a thought. Maybe you crave something more than casual. You want someone who can stimulate you mentally and physically, someone who will take control and give you exactly what you want, when you want it. But why pick me? There's a spark there, a glimmer of potential. And you want to seize that, to win me over.

The Real Issue: Confidence

The problem here is a lack of confidence. You don’t trust that I’ll come around, that you can excite me in ways other than the physical. If you’re pushing for casual, it’s because you’re not confident you’ll get what you really want.

The Consequences of the Casual Mindset

In this game of cat and mouse, we both end up losing. You’re not happy because you didn’t get what you wanted, and I'm frustrated because I didn't feel like a choice. So, let's not call it casual, shall we?

Key Points:

1. The concept of casual sex is a myth. It doesn't exist in the way we think it does.
2. Alpha males need to regain their aggression and make choices, rather than being chosen.
3. Women are forced to step up due to the lack of assertive men, but this doesn't bring satisfaction.
4. There are always strings attached in sex - it's not casual, and emotions are inevitably involved.

Let's Talk Cheating!

Cheating! It's like that unexpected jalapeno in your nachos – hot, surprising, and enough to ruin your taste for a while. But why does it happen? A lack of respect? Love gone stale? Or is it about the perceived shift in power dynamics? Let's dive in!

"Happily Ever After" Gets a Twist

Imagine this: You’re a superwoman, juggling three kids, a job, and a degree, all while rocking a killer smile. One fine day, Cupid strikes, and bam! Mr. Right enters, no kids, loads of charm, and an average-paying job. Bliss ensues, promises get exchanged, and wedding bells chime.

Fast forward to three years later. Your fairy tale has started to lose some sparkle. Your promotion and raise at work, once a shared dream, are now catalysts for friction. The loving, fun-loving Johnny is now grumpy, lashing out at the kids, and bringing storms instead of sunshine.

Queen, You've Tipped the Scales!

When your love story started, the two of you were like the Scales of Justice, perfectly balanced. But then life happened. As you soared higher with your career, your knight started to feel like a pawn. It's as if you traded your love-tinted glasses for x-ray specs. You began to see past him, his average job, and his unfulfilled dreams.

Suddenly, Johnny seems less of a prince charming and more of a court jester. His silver no longer matches your gold, leading to resentment and frustration. It's a classic case of shifting scales tipping the love boat!

When Kings Feel Like Pawns

Your man may feel like he's just another one of the kids rather than the king of his castle. His self-esteem takes a hit, making him act out. Imagine this: At work, he's the man, respected, appreciated, but at home, he's being treated like a wayward teenager. It's enough to make him look for validation elsewhere.

Reignite the Spark, Queen!

Here's your fairy godmother advice: Make him feel like a king again. Shower him with appreciation and respect, and watch the magic unfold! For the next 30 days, treat him like the king he once was.

You'll see the transformation. First week, he'll be a skeptic. By week two, he'll be less defensive. Week three will have him warming up to you, and by the fourth week, your king will be back, ready to reign with love!

Put a Crown on His Head!

The trick is to reignite the esteem, the fourth level in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. By treating him with respect, you'll rekindle the love and emotional connection. Your king will rise to his responsibilities, love his queen, and rule his kingdom with pride and respect.

Key Points:

1. Shift in Power Dynamics: Changes in power dynamics can lead to resentment, leading to infidelity.
2. The Need for Validation: Men need to feel validated and respected, especially at home.
3. Solution: Boosting a man's self-esteem and treating him like a king can reignite the spark in your relationship.

Understanding the Game and the Player

In the complex world of dating, relationships, and attraction, knowing what game you're playing, and the rules governing it, is crucial. For men, it's about protecting feelings and ego, and for women, it's about passing the 'tests' men set up.

A Man's Reality: The Test

When a man desires a relationship, he puts women through a series of tests. The ultimate goal is not simply to sleep with a woman, but to safeguard his emotions. Men have witnessed or experienced the pain of unreciprocated love or heartbreak, and the subconscious tests they put women through are designed to protect their feelings.

Learning to Pass the Tests

Women need to understand this testing process and learn how to pass these 'tests'. Men desire their chosen partner to succeed; it's not about setting them up for failure. A woman's ability to pass these tests helps men feel secure in their emotional investment.

A Misconception Unveiled

When women repeatedly fail these tests, some men may conclude that there are no "good women" - a harsh perception that's not reflective of reality but a product of personal experience. It's crucial to recognize this dynamic and navigate it with understanding and empathy.

The Key to Winning: Emotional Connection

The key to passing these tests is creating an emotional response and grabbing hold of the trigger without letting go. In all cases, the goal is a long-term, valuable relationship. Every man wants a partner whose value appreciates and who can be a lifelong companion.

The Alpha Male Dilemma

Alpha males are constantly trying to prove their worth, either through combat or women. The woman who challenges them both mentally and physically is a win-win. But if she starts to challenge him the way other men do, arguments can ensue. He needs to feel like the man of his household, or he'll seek another where he can fulfill that role.

Conclusion: The Power of Listening and Protecting Feelings

In this intricate dance of relationships, protecting feelings is paramount. For a woman to succeed in the game, she must listen to her man, understand his intentions, and learn to hold the trigger. This will prevent a cycle of hurt and confusion, leading to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Key Points:

1. Men put women through a series of tests in relationships to protect their feelings.
2. To pass these tests, women need to create an emotional connection and demonstrate their long-term value.
3. Misunderstandings and failed tests can lead to a negative perception of women, which isn't reflective of reality.
4. Alpha males constantly need to prove their worth and seek partners who challenge them mentally and physically.
5. Listening, understanding, and protecting feelings are essential in building successful relationships.

The 'Lil Buddy' vs 'McLuvin' Showdown

Picture this: The movie Superbad, Fogell a.k.a McLuvin, our undercover cool cat, waiting for his breakout moment. In the same vein, there's a McLuvin lurking in every beta male, including one I affectionately call, 'Lil Buddy'. Today, we're mixing this elixir, a cocktail of emotions and alcohol, to explore their intriguing dynamics. Let's dive into the bar scene, a playground for Alphas, Betas, and the women who are drawn to them.

The 'Elixir' Effect

Our first character, 'Lil Buddy', is a classic beta male, always ready to lend a hand but seldom taking the lead. Picture him, pint in hand, watching his alpha friends work their charm on the ladies. In a twisted turn of fate, as the liquor kicks in, Lil Buddy finds his own unique brand of courage - not in his non-existent lady skills but in the ancient art of fisticuffs (fear not, you'll get the hang of this term soon enough).

Lil Buddy’s Tricky Tactics

Instead of smoothly approaching the lady he fancies, Lil Buddy would rather crash someone else's party – the perfect recipe for a bar fight. Time ticks, the elixir does its work, and Lil Buddy's need for attention sparks the inevitable chaos. And guess what, nature and his own insecurity are co-conspirators in this wild narrative.

The 'Bad Boy' Appeal

With each passing moment, our beta guy grows bolder, driven by a primal desire to be perceived as an Alpha. His trick? Causing a ruckus to play the 'bad boy', the ultimate Alpha magnet. Win or lose, the fight pushes Lil Buddy into the spotlight and often into the arms of a maternal dame, eager to soothe his bruised ego.

Enter McLuvin, The Coolest Beta

Now, let's shift our gaze to McLuvin, a beta male who’s got his game right. He's the cool, friendly guy who knows all the women and has mastered the art of being the perfect wingman. He doesn't chase the ladies aggressively, but understands that his role in the Alpha coalition is to connect people. His charisma is undeniable, his strategy flawless.

No Hating on McLuvin

The best part about McLuvin? His likability factor is off the charts. Hate on him, and you're likely to be shunned by the entire clan, girls and guys alike. He's the gateway to a treasure trove of connections and hence, an essential player in the nightlife game. And when he finally settles down, the women who once used him as a gateway, will see him in a whole new light.

Key Points:

1. Lil Buddy and McLuvin represent two distinct beta male types in the bar scene.
2. The “Elixir” is the mix of alcohol and emotions that triggers action.
3. Lil Buddy leverages chaos and the ‘bad boy’ appeal to get noticed, despite his lack of confidence.
4. McLuvin, on the other hand, is loved by all due to his friendly demeanor and vital role as a connector.
5. Both strategies provide wins in their own ways, shaping the dynamic nightlife narrative.

Heads up, Singletons!

Firstly, let's get real here. Single? Partnered? It doesn't matter which side of the relationship spectrum you're on. Look around you. Anyone lurking who's occupying too much of your time without being 'the one'?

Playing Sherlock in Your Love Life

We all have these characters in our life, and they always dodge that one crucial question, "Why are you in my life?" They stutter, they stammer, not because they're clueless, but rather, they're terrified of admitting their true feelings. But hey, no bullschit responses allowed here. Let's get brutally honest and figure out their purpose in your life.

The Art of 'You-Time' and 'The One'

If you're flying solo, there's no need to despair. Dream up your perfect partner and set the stage. Into art? Make the galleries your second home. More of an outdoorsy type? Hit those hiking trails. Don't let bad past experiences color your present. Just because you picked up a guy at a bar and he turned out to be a drink-loving disaster doesn't mean every bar guy is a ticking beer bomb.

Fear: Your Door to Success

Gentlemen, it's time to embrace that fear. That's your ticket to success. You see a gorgeous lady, your eyes linger, and voila, you're caught. But don't let that frighten you. Own it! If you're brazen enough to admire her, be brave enough to admit it. Got caught in a Zack Morris time-freeze? Well, that's her fault for being so breathtakingly beautiful.

The Story of Marc, Shelby, Eleanor, and Jacob

Let's delve into a little tale from my own life, introducing four friends: Marc, Shelby, Eleanor, and Jacob. Marc and Shelby are dating, as are Eleanor and Jacob. But while Eleanor and Jacob are floating on cloud nine, Marc's turning into a verbal Godzilla, hurling abusive words at Shelby.

The Venomous Snake in the Grass

This is where the plot thickens. Unbeknownst to Shelby, Marc's pouring out his heart to Eleanor, painting a dreary picture of his relationship. What's worse, he's slowly trying to sell Eleanor a dream. He's weaving a web, setting her up for the snake's strike. And poor Jacob, oblivious to Marc's intentions, encourages this communication.

Identifying the Poison

Beware, ladies and gentlemen, of such serpents in your life. They strike when you least expect it, paralyzing you with their potent venom, sowing seeds of doubt and confusion in your relationships.

The Key Takeaways:

1. Be aware of the people in your life and question their intent.
2. Embrace your solo status and shape your path towards attracting the right partner.
3. Don't let fear hinder your pursuit of love.
4. Be vigilant of snakes who misuse friendship to meddle in relationships.

Once upon a steamy summer's night...

Let's journey back, my friends, to the age when men were hunters, women were gatherers, and love was a game of sacrifice and gain. It's me, your relationship whisperer and swagger captain, about to dish out a lesson you'll remember.

The Grit and Glitter of the Olden Days

Back in the days of yore, women were nurturing souls, tending the hearth while men ventured out for work. Men would return home, eyes sparkling, longing for the warmth of their better halves. The women knew their worth, but over time, they sought new opportunities outside the home.

The Smorgasbord of Love

Fast-forward to today, and ladies, we're in the wild wild west of the love market. With myriad options, it's like a never-ending Toys 'R Us spree. But honey, remember - you're not just any toy on the shelf; you're a rare, priceless collector's item.

The Great Buffet Analogy

Think of your relationship like an all-you-can-eat buffet. If there's too much on offer, can you truly savor that favorite dish of yours? The same goes for love. When you're valued, cherished, and exclusive, you become that irresistible dish he craves.

Negotiation: The Heart of Love

In the marketplace of love, successful bargaining is key. The deal? You're offering a relationship or better yet, a diamond-studded marriage, and he's buying—if the price feels right. If he's going to fork over time, affection, and sideline all other options, you better be worth it, darling!

The Three-Tier Love Cake

Remember, there are levels to this negotiation, each needing equal exchange and mutual consent:

1. Man and Woman
2. Boyfriend and Girlfriend
3. Husband and Wife

This balance is what separates the forever couples from the temporary flings.

The Value of Appreciation

A man's heart flutters when he sees his woman's value growing. This realization is sweeter than the finest wine and more satisfying than the heftiest paycheck. He'll want to be a part of that growth and journey with you.

A Double Whammy for the Ladies

The modern woman is a warrior. She battles in the boardroom and manages the homefront. But listen up, darling, you're not meant to do it all! If you're doing double duty, he'll think you're good on your own, leaving your love negotiations off-balance.

Stay Sharp, Stay Desirable

Ladies and gents, it's a tough market out there. But remember, you always have the power to upgrade. Staying on your A-game keeps the spice alive. As they say in the classic movie "Sleepers", "Going soft is a habit, you have to keep yourself mean."

Key Points:

• Understand your worth in the love market.
• Negotiate equally in every stage of your relationship.
• Appreciate your partner's growth and value.
• Balance your duties to maintain relationship equilibrium.
• Keep on your A-game to remain desirable.

Love Thyself to Attract the Love You Desire

If you're tirelessly hitting the club scene, hoping to find Prince Charming only to find Mr. Wrong time and time again, maybe it's time to stop pointing fingers and take a look in the mirror. You and I, we're all part of a prime whole, and we need each other to exist. But understand, self-sufficiency isn't a myth, it's just misunderstood.

The Nightmarish Dream - Decoding Mixed Signals

Ever felt a tug-of-war of emotions? That's the thrilling rollercoaster ride of love. One moment you're all hearts for me, and the next, you're tossing daggers. Yet, it's merely a reflection of your inner turmoil. In the neon-lit battlefield of the club, amidst the deafening music, we try to decode each other's silent cues.

The False Promise of the Night

The blurry club lights create an illusion of romance. You hear sweet whispers, promising a future together, but you might be hearing what you want to hear. Don't be fooled by the giggle or the light-hearted banter. Not every engaging conversation promises an engagement ring!

The Morning After Reality

As the night fades, and reality dawns, you realize the intoxicating words were just that - words. The rhythmic dance and the lustful gazes were fleeting, and you're back to square one, back at the club.

Recognize Your Worth - A Prime You

Here's the big reveal - the man you want is you! Not literally, but metaphorically. It's about recognizing your worth and not settling for anything less. Stop giving yourself away for free. You're prime, remember? Love yourself first, and let your actions reflect your value. Make the nightmares fade away, turn your actual into your real, and ditch the duality.

Key Points:

• Understand the importance of self-love and value in a relationship
• Recognize the illusion of club promises and false engagements
• Identify your worth and stop selling yourself short
• Eliminate duality to turn nightmares into dreams

Introduction

Unleash your inner first-grader and fasten your seatbelt, folks. We’re about to embark on a journey to the enchanting world of Show and Tell Fridays - the ultimate paradise where lost eyes, frayed blankets, and wingless Buzz Lightyears reign. If your relationship isn't like this wholesome carnival, maybe it's time for a reality check. Don't settle for anything less than that heartwarming love that only a favorite toy could understand.

Witness the Celebration of Imperfections

Imperfections make us real, and there's nothing more heart-tugging than watching little ones cherish their worn-out, treasured toys with unwavering affection. Imagine your partner looking at you like that - missing pieces, chipped paint, and all. The unabashed love on display will make your heart flutter.

Be Each Other's Favorite

In love, you should be each other's favorite, just like that cherished one-eyed teddy bear. If you feel like you're only taken out of the toy box at night, it's time for a serious conversation.

Usher-ly Speaking...

Usher nailed it with his chart-topping hit "You Got It Bad". Real love is when both of you "got it bad". It's Show and Tell Friday every day, not just an after-midnight thing.

Love like a Favorite Toy

Why settle for less when you can love and be loved like a favorite toy? If you need guidance in finding someone who cherishes you just as much, drop a comment or reach out - I'm here for you!

Key Points:

• Celebrate your imperfections
• Be each other's favorite
• Real love is a 24/7 commitment, not just an after-midnight call
• Always aim for a love like a favorite toy

Published on December 11, 2011