Navigating Hidden Rules in Relationships: A Man’s Perspective
The Myth of Lying: Perception and Miscommunication in Relationships
"Women are liars", or so many men perceive it. Now, don't be quick to jump into conclusions - let's clarify what this means. The claim isn't about women being intentionally deceitful, but more about the hidden rules that unfold as a relationship progresses.
The Illusion of No Rules: The Early Stages of Dating
In the dating phase, the only apparent rule seems to be spending time together. Time filled with laughter, discussions, activities, and the electric spark of budding affection. Late-night visits, dinner and movie dates, or cozy movie nights at home - they all culminate in an exchange of emotions. As the bond deepens, the lust-filled days start evolving into the comforting embrace of love.
The Emergence of Hidden Rules: The Progression into a Relationship
But, what if I told you there were rules all along, rules you didn't realize existed until they were broken? These unspoken expectations subtly govern the course of the relationship. Yet, they are often overlooked in the early phases when labels are hazy, and things are casual.
Upon becoming 'official', new rules are introduced, such as increased quality time, more public outings, and interactions with each other's families. It seems like a natural progression of the relationship, doesn't it? Still, even in this phase, you feel you maintain a sense of personal freedom - hanging out with friends, and occasionally going out together after work. But as the relationship progresses, even more, expectations start to emerge.
Unleashing the Kraken: The Shift after Marriage
When you think of the shift in a woman's behavior after getting engaged, you might attribute it to wedding planning stress. However, it's more than that. The 'Bridezilla' phase often uncovers long-held expectations that have been subtly imprinted since childhood. After the wedding, the so-called 'honeymoon phase' ends and the reality of living together brings forth more rules that have been visualized and practiced for years.
Unmasking the Fear of Commitment: The Hidden Factor
This progression, which often feels like an unraveling of hidden rules, is why many men fear commitment. However, once a man falls in love, he is willing to endure the challenges because the emotional bond holds him. If a man refrains from committing, it might be because he hasn't allowed himself to fall in love, to let you 'load the gun', so to speak.
Navigating the Waters of Unspoken Rules: The Solution
Here's a solution to circumvent this: Be upfront with your rules. If your partner infringes upon them, don't suppress your reaction; communicate your feelings. If you share your expectations, and your partner chooses to stay, then the responsibility lies with them. On the other hand, if you don't disclose your rules, and they feel blindsided later on, it's you who is at fault.
Don't rely on the assumption of 'common sense' because if it were common, it should have been apparent during the dating phase. Take solace in knowing that the right partner for you will respect and meet your expectations from the start, not because they feel 'tamed', but because they genuinely align with your needs.
Remember, in the end, all we want is to find happiness and fulfillment.
"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage pointe."
Key Points
- Relationships often entail unspoken rules that come to light as the bond progresses.
- The perception of deceit in relationships often stems from undisclosed expectations or rules.
- Open and honest communication about expectations and boundaries can help build stronger, more successful relationships.
